Ace of Spades
by Nakimochiku
Summary: an A to Z of shiro and ichi's relationship, and the meaning behind it all. hichi x ichi, collection of poems.
1. Chapter 1

Alluring Antidote

fixin' ya's my job.

My job I will do.

Ain't got nun better.

So why not?

When yer sleepin'

did ya know I was watchin'

did ya know I saw the tears on yer face.

I'm yer salvation from the darkness

I'm yer potent medicine.

Ya'll become addicted to me.

Ya won't be able ta live without me.

An' I don't want ya to.

I want ya to always need me.

And now ya always will.

Fixin' ya is the best I can do.

But soon I'll have ta break ya again.

Soon it won't matter.

Cause I know.

At night ya wait for me.

_I'll break yer heart._

And when we're together, ya smile.

I'm that sweet fix.

_I'll crack you just because._

Wonderful salvation.

I'm better than the rest.

Fixin' ya's my job.

But ya were meant ta stay broken


	2. Chapter 2

Broken Bones

broken again, pretty king.

In more ways than one.

Your body's mashed up.

Your brain is cracking in two.

And your soul?

It's so broken it's screaming.

Mending those broken bones is easy

broken bones from fighting,

from trying,

from living.

From dying,

and crying,

and sitting there wishing.

Every bone in your body is broken,

fractured and cracked.

Now how am I to deal with that?

I'm not a miracle worker,

and I can't say I care much either.

But it'd be troublesome if you died.

Or so I tell myself.

Broken calls through your window,

go to them, but don't forget about me.

Go to them.

But don't forget that I saved you,

and they couldn't.

Owari


	3. Chapter 3

Colligating Colloquy

to assume that I like loneliness

is to assume that life likes death.

It's assuming that I don't want you.

That I don't love you,

want to hold you,

kiss you.

It's assuming that you don't understand.

And you don't.

You never really did.

We talked about this before King.

You said you'd come visit.

Well where are you now, king?

You're assuming that I don't miss you,

that I don't need you,

that I don't think of you.

And you're wrong!

You haunt my every goddamn thought!

We talked about this before king,

but you still didn't understand.

We talked about this before king.

But I don't think you were listening.

OWARi


	4. Chapter 4

Defamatory Dawn

every morning you wake up,

you tell me you hate me.

I've come to hate the mornings.

You tell me you hate me.

If I didn't love you so much...

Maybe I would kill you.

If I didn't love you so much...

Maybe I wouldn't be hurting this way.

You tell me I'm worthless,

stupid,

you hate me.

You tell me you'll kill me,

shut up,

you hate me.

I really hate the mornings.

The afternoon isn't so bad,

because for a moment,

you forget that you hate me.

But in the morning,

it's fresh in your mind once more.

And I have to deal with the verbal abuse.

But did you know king...

Whenever you're telling me those things,

I know who you're really talking to.

I know what you really feel.

It's okay king.

You can pretend.

And I can pretend your words hurt me.

I've come to hate the mornings.

OWARI


	5. Chapter 5

Eccentric Echo

when you whsiper to them

"I'm sorry."

I shout what you're really thinking.

"I don't care!"

Whenever you promise you love them.

I'll tell them the negative.

I'm like an echo that doesn't follow.

And I'll always be there to tell you the truth.

When you smile and wave hello,

I snarl and shout 'fuck off'

cause I know you don't want to be anywhere near them.

Why should they get your smiles,

and I get nothing but words of hatred?

I'll drive them away from you, king

so you'll be only mine.

Won't that be nice?

When you tell them

"I'll miss you"

I tell them the truth.

I hiss "hurry up and leave."

Because that's what you're thinking.

Your truthful echo,

I'll never lie.

You're waiting for an apology.

I'm waiting for a confession.

OWARI


	6. Chapter 6

Forward Finesse

every seemingly graceful step forward,

are always your clumsiest.

Afraid of change,

afraid of advancement,

afraid of love.

I suppose I should change that,

shouldn't I?

2 steps forward,

1 step back.

This 'romance' is getting no where.

But god knows I try,

I just wish you were trying too.

Afraid of heart break,

and picking up the pieces,

afraid that this make actually work.

I can make it work.

But king, it's all up to you.

I know I can live without you in my heart.

But you need me.

So I'm here for you.

Waiting for you.

All you have to do is take one step forward.

You can fall if you want.

Your wayward steps to progress,

are always your clumsiest.

OWARI


	7. Chapter 7

Graphic Gainsay

the picture of denial

you're the saint of liars and fakes.

You contradict your every word.

One minute "I love you"

next second " I couldn't care less."

If you pick one and stick with it,

it'll be less trouble for me.

I'm tearing my heart out,

waiting for you to choose.

I draw you pretty pictures,

but you're never in the mood.

I'm trying to be what you want,

but you don't even know what you want.

You're driving me insane.

Changing your mind and then changing it back.

Like the picture of denial.

I'm trying to figure you out.

You can't even figure you out.

You never know what you're saying,

your words are poison.

One minute "I hate you"

next second "I can't live without you."

Make up your mind,

before I die from confusion.

Hurry up, hurry up,

I'm eating my heart out!

Your smile is a contradiction,

I hate everything about it, hollow.

I draw you little hearts.

But I don't think you notice.

Or maybe you do and you're not telling me.

The saint of liars and fakes.

OWARI


	8. Chapter 8

Hapless Heroism

it's not like you ever wanted to be a hero.

It just happened.

It got thrown at you.

And you had to take it.

It's not like you ever wanted me.

I came without your consent.

I threw myself at you.

Told you all my secrets,

in hopes that you would tell me yours.

I was thrown at you.

Now, decide,

you unlucky bastard.

Decide if this is what you want.

It's your decision,

I won't force you into it.

But I'll tell you something,

before you answer.

I'll tell you how much I love you.

How happy I am that you are who you are,

as unlucky as you may be.

It's not my fault.

But I want us to be together.

None of this you expected.

It just happened,

was thrown at you.

You're a really unlucky bastard.

OWARI


	9. Chapter 9

Inhuman Iniquity

you're a demon,

a monster,

a liar

a sin.

My sin.

My favorite sin.

How would I live without you?

So many times,

how many times?

That sin of needing you.

I'll deny it.

I'll despise it.

But in the end

you'll just tell me I'm lying.

I'm always lying.

You're my inner demon.

Who knows what I'd do without you.

You haunt me,

you mock me.

You're a liar,

a sin.

My sin.

My most beautiful sin.

Owari


	10. Chapter 10

Jarring Juxtaposition

roaming around each other

so close,

we clash.

We can't be around each other.

Too close,

we destroy.

Breaking each other.

Loving each other.

Too close.

So close.

We need to be closer.

We need to get farther away.

Crashing

bumping

hating

so close.

Closer.

Need more.

Colliding

and agreeing.

Closer.

We need more.

I'm his air,

he's my heart.

Just a little closer.

Just a little farther apart.

We clash.

OWARI


	11. Chapter 11

Kingly Keepsake

I guess you don't remember.

But that's alright king.

What else should I expect of you?

A little while ago

you promised me.

I kissed you.

But you don't remember.

It was when you were younger.

Have you forgotten about me,

until now?

I guess you don't remember,

but that's alright.

That sweet kiss,

I guess you don't remember.

You promised forever.

It's alright.

We were young, I guess.

How did you manage to forget,

when you were blushing so cutely?

It's alright,

I don't think I cared that much anyway.

You promised,

but what would those promises mean now.

We were young I guess.

Maybe you didn't care?

I guess you don't remember.

And I'm not okay.

OWARI

_review..._


	12. Chapter 12

Lyrical Looseness

you're always so free with your words

as if you don;t even know what they mean.

You say things that hurt people's feelings

but you can never tell.

You're always so free with your words.

I wonder if you know how you make me feel?

It's not liked it ever really mattered to you.

But you could break me.

So free with those hurtful words.

You could break me.

So loose and uncaring.

I bet it doesn't matter to you.

But your words are killing.

All I want is soft promises.

Please assure me that you'll be there.

Every word you say

are either lies or insults.

You're always so free with your words.

Did you ever stop to think,

that you were hurting me?

Did it ever cross your mind,

that you were pushing me away?

You're always si free with your words.

And they break me.

OWARI


	13. Chapter 13

Malcontent Masquerade

why should I be satisfied with your rule?

You're stupid

you're useless

you're –

I'm lying.

Always have been.

Always will be.

Why should I bow down to what you think of me?

I hate it,

I'll get rid of it,

I'll throw it off and crush it.

For once,

I'm telling the truth.

I want more than what you're giving me,

even if I have to take I by force.

I'll take it.

I'll own it.

And I'll see how you feel,

bowing down to my rule.

I don't like any of this,

but what can I do?

I'm only your faithful servant.

And you're my ever vexing King.

OWARI


	14. Chapter 14

Nefarious Neutralization

we could pull off a truce

but we would hate it.

That kind of logic just doesn't work.

We could work together,

we'd be a wonderful team.

But it just doesn't work.

We could be so perfect together,

so calm.

Together.

But it's an ugly idea.

We would hate it.

We can't call this off.

This is who we are.

We have to fight.

It's a twisted affection.

We have to be like this.

We can't pull peace off.

The very thought disgusts him,

tantalizes me.

Being together just won't work,

not even when we don't have the energy to fight.

We're born enemies,

that's how it'll stay.

We _could_ pull off a truce.

But he would hate it.

OWARI


	15. Chapter 15

Oppressive Odium

that hate ties me down.

It doesn't let me speak.

It won't let me show you.

I try.

But my words are stuffed back down my throat.

I try.

But you won't let me.

You drive me to my knees.

Beat me.

And then you hate me.

The hate is what hurts the most.

I try.

But you crush me.

It blocks me.

It's a wall,

seperating me and you.

God how close I want to get.

But you won't let me.

You keep pushing me away.

It's a wall.

But it doesn't have to be there.

It ties me down.

Kills me,

makes me scream.

Makes me scream and scream.

But every word that comes out is changed.

It's not what I want to tell you.

This hate.

It's a wall.

But it doesn't have to be there.

OWARI


	16. Chapter 16

Pensive Parity

I wonder what it is... about your face,

that I love.

That simalarity in everything save for choices,

must be something that intrigues me.

Your smile,

so different.

Yet we're a like.

That same kind of pain,

the same hopes and joys.

What do you fear, hollow?

Are your fears like mine?

Or is this mirror likeness,

only skin deep?

To we have the potential,

to be more than what we are?

You only laugh at my thoughts.

But I see it in your eyes,

that little bit of hope.

Or maybe being a like it a bad thing?

We're mirror opposites.

But I like that about you.

I wonder what it is about everything.

That draws me to you?

Is it the way you try to hide,

or is it me that is hiding.

I wonder.

OWARI


	17. Chapter 17

Quaint Quibble

well, we're avoiding it.

We're beating around the bush.

We won't admit it.

But we both know it.

We always have.

We don't have to say it.

So we'll keep avoiding it.

It's not like I mind this.

It's comfortable.

But you're waiting.

I can see it.

I guess I'm waiting to.

Who will say it first?

Who will break this awkward comfort?

We're avoiding it.

But I don't mind.

You're waiting for it.

But I wanna hear it from you.

Cause I know you'll blush, and you'll stutter.

You'll look away, you'll glance at me.

And it'll be even more obvious.

Because we already knew it.

We just wanted to avoid it.

Beat around the bush.

OWARI


End file.
